A list of things I used to want desperately and now no longer care about

Image from IBM Selectric Typewriters.

(Note: This blog post was originally inspired by the $20 I blew on whatever idiot game I bought after my bar mitzvah. That got me thinking about what’s expressed in the title — usually material goods that I didn’t have the money for when I was a teenager or in my 20s. The idea was a whimsical list, like the kind you see on McSweeney’s from time to time. [Here’s a particularly absurdist example.] But a couple items stopped me. Did I really not care anymore? Didn’t these topics fit into the existential concept of “regret” more than the dismissal of an under-dash 8-track tape player? They did, and that’s a subject for a future post. Sometimes wistfulness intrudes upon whimsy.)

(In the meantime, though I’m sticking with the idiot game I blew $20 on, it’s obvious that I really do care. But screw it.)

  • A 8-track car tape player
  • A cassette player with Dolby C
  • One of those giant adding machines
  • An IBM Selectric typewriter like the one I used to use at my father’s office
  • That stupid game that I blew $20 of my bar mitzvah money on
  • An old, click-click-click-click, wah-wah-wah-pop pinball machine. (Not really. I would still love an old pinball machine, but I have nowhere to put it and no expertise to maintain it)
  • Tickets to see the Police on the “Synchronicity” tour
  • A subscription to Playboy
  • A job at The National Sports Daily (not that I ever had a shot)
  • A Ford Probe
  • A ricky-tick upright piano
  • To run fast
  • A shot at the $125,000 question on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.” (This is a lie.)

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